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The Push

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It was a strange feeling, not being able to recall anything a few seconds later… or maybe it had been a few minutes or hours. I set my phone aside, knowing I had to do something but what? Look up a recipe in my saved folder? Message an old friend? Was there an event I was missing? I could feel the cogs of my mind turn slowly, almost arriving at a definitive conclusion. Then, the dopamine rush-inducing ‘ting’ sound buzzed again and all was lost. *** I’ve always found Instagram to be a window into the world of others. A glimpse of their lives shines through and then it’s gone as you scroll away. But there is a morbidity that comes as you lie on your back and flip from one reel to the next till your hand aches. It’s almost as if we are trying to find the end or go back to the beginning so that all that doom scrolling would mean something. I think I found it one night when I scrolled myself into oblivion.  It was 3 am when I found myself in a lucid dream. My phone buzzed and I awoke, r...